Fire in My Soul



Summer is fire season in Arizona and, living here, we always hope it won’t be a bad one.  Right now, there is a huge fire burning in Oak Creek Canyon, just a few miles north of Sedona, only about 10 miles from my home.

I notice that whenever there is a big forest fire like there is now, there is tremendous energy in the air.  Last year there was a fire in Yarnell in which 22 firefighters lost their lives.  I remember feeling that, as I was breathing the smoky air, I was actually breathing in their ashes, their released energies, as well as the energies of the trees and all other living things being consumed by the fire.  They were truly part of me.  I feel that sense now—being part of the whole organism we call Life.

We humans are so accustomed to managing our environments—our homes, lifestyles, health, controlling the heat and humidity in our homes and our vehicles.  When these big natural events crop up, it is an opportunity to remember who and what we are:  nano-specks in the big picture of the cosmos, of Creation, of the Everything.  And yet, we matter.  It all matters.

I’ve stepped into experiencing the elements as living beings as well, feeling the presence of fire, wind, water and earth as Life Force,  living expressions of Divine Presence.  And so for the last two days, I’ve felt humbled by this roaring of the earth and compelled to stop and listen.  To be still and listen to what it is saying—the need to clear, to balance to cleanse, to renew.  To trust.

The last two days I happened to be building a new flower and vegetable garden in my back yard.  It has been a vision since I moved into this house a couple of years ago, and now it is a reality.  Yesterday afternoon as I sat with an iced coffee looking at this creation, I thought about the juxtaposition of destruction and creation.  Forest fires destroy, and make way for the new.

As I sent some prayers for the land, and for those lives affected by this event,  I wanted to make some offering.  Perhaps it was some primordial desire to calm the fire gods rising up out of an ancient memory still encoded in my DNA.   I thought of how we are so clumsy and clueless about so many things.  We take so much for granted—our homes, our lives, things like TV, cars, grocery stores.  We are so plugged into ‘normal’, stomping all over everything and everyone to appease our need for ‘normal.’

I do a lot of work with this in my healing sessions.  It has been my own journey of healing and expansion this last years—letting go of ‘normal’ to make way for greater possibilities.  Our souls are wired this way, just like the Universe.  This is that stirring up, that dissatisfaction, that discomfort—it is our souls calling us out of settling for ‘normal’, and daring us into a greater experience of Life and Beauty and Creation.  But it requires us to step through the fear, to let go of  the drama that wants to rise up, and to breath deeply into the possibilities contained in the smoke and ashes of what has always been.  Letting go and trusting.

So I felt moved to simply dedicate my tiny little flower bed, with its new little plants,  to the planet as an offering of beauty and creation in the face of this destruction.

Yes, fire is a natural process, and life goes in cycles.  I am in no way minimizing the destruction.  The stillness and quiet and humility I feel are part of honoring the magnitude of the destruction and transition taking place.  I pray for the safety of those affected directly.  And I pray for the balance of these earth energies of fire, air, water and earth.  Yet these events are a reminder to look at a bigger picture, to  listen, and to trust in the Ultimate Benevolence, to breathe in the smoke and ashes of what was, bow and humbly say Yes.


Buckle up, kids, we’re going through!

I don’t know about you, but for me 2014 has been quite a ride so far, and we’re just two months into it. As a healer, spiritual teacher and counselor, I help clients work through many different situations and circumstances.  Looking back, there is usually  a common denominator, an underlying energetic thread that runs through, even though particular circumstances differ.

I personally find it helpful to have an understanding of what is transpiring and why, so that I can move through the rocky transitions more quickly and with greater clarity and courage. So here are some thoughts —

We are like planes taking off on a journey, moving from Third Dimensional density into the higher, finer, lighter atmosphere of the Fifth Dimension, and higher.

But just like a plane, we have to power our way through the resistance of  atmospheric density in order to get to cruising altitude.  And sometimes there is really dense, heavy cloud cover in between.  You’ve been there—the captain says it may be rough, so you hold on, maybe grip the arms of your seat as the plane lurches about, take some deep breaths, maybe furtively look around for the barf bag just in case.  But you don’t want to look like a wimp who has never flown, so you try to look calm and collected.  You look out the window and it’s dark, dense, threatening.  You think—we could die.  And yet what is causing all that turbulence?  Clouds.  Not solid at all.  Just clouds.

Yet these clouds, which have no real substance, are tossing about this multi-ton, jet-powered hunk of metal, carrying hundreds of people and hundreds of pounds of cargo, like it was nothing.  But what does the captain do?  Throw up his hands and cry , it’s too much, it’s too hard, it’s too scary, Someone make this go away?  Of course not.  He/She hunkers down and revs up the engines even more in order to power through.

This is what we are being taught now—that we have the power within to cut through the density of these dark clouds of old thoughts and patterns that threaten us and toss us about.  But we would not be experiencing these circumstances if  we weren’t ready to handle them.  Just like the plane, when weather conditions are bad enough, the flight gets cancelled, but this one wasn’t, so hang on, we’re going through.

Our circumstances and situations are never just about what it appears on the surface.  They are Sacred Curriculum in this Earth School for Souls.  As real as they feel and appear, they simply serve to bring up the emotions and reactions that we, as souls,  agreed to move through, experience and resolve in this lifetime.  Much like a case study in grad school, a math word problem in elementary school, or those clouds—the situations are not real in one sense, but in order to pass the course, get the learning and get where we want to go, they are real indeed.

And this is not to minimize the pain and suffering.  I’ve walked my own path and have made it through many challenges.  So I know.  Some say the definition of shaman is wounded healer.  Just like a bone that has broken and healed—the point of the break is now strongest.  So compassion for ourselves is crucial.  But, just like the plane, we don’t wallow in the story of how terrible it is and let it toss us around.

You know the saying—what we focus on increases.  That’s quantum physics.  As long as we focus on the dark and the fear and the story, it grows in power.  So where do you focus when situations and emotions threaten to overwhelm?  Rev up the inner engine.  Look inside for the tiny, sometimes infinitesimal, point of light.  Fiercely look.  It is there.  Power up and determine to find  that and focus on it as if your life depended on it.  Because it does.

We are in a great time of awakening and transition now, as most of you are aware.  The energies are potent.  The vibrational frequencies in which we live are higher, faster, finer and lighter than they were when we came in to this lifetime.  And because our physical bodies—which, don’t forget, includes our brain—are part of the ‘stuff’ of the planet, they are affected.

This is all divine plan, our evolutionary blueprint.  An opportunity to fly.  The first response is always, what’s wrong here, what’s wrong with me.  Things are not normal, so much is shaken up in me and around me.  These thoughts and feelings—actual nervous system responses, are simply the brain chemistry reacting to the shift of energies.  This doesn’t feel ‘normal’, therefore the ‘organism’ that we are feels threatened.  It’s just the old survival mechanism at work.

So how do we weather these shifts?  But more than that, how do we cooperate with these shifts to take advantage of them?  How do we teach our brain and nervous system to adapt?  This is why such technologies as yoga, breathwork, journaling, meditation and energy healing sessions are so helpful.  They give us space to move forward.

We are being given the opportunity here to evolve as a species to something greater, lighter, more expansive, less ‘at the effect’ than ever before.  And we have no paradigm for it, so therefore the conditioned left brain screams out—wait, it’s out of control!  Does not compute!  Danger, Will Robinson, danger!!

Here are some practical steps that will help dissolve patterns of pain and limitation:

  1. Allow and acknowledge the feelings that are coming up, without suppressing them.
  2. Know that this is happening for you, not to you.
  3. Breathe deeply and consciously into the brain, and into the feeling.
  4. Recognize the familiarity of the feeling, and the pattern that triggered it
  5. Release judgment, and shift into compassion for yourself, and the courage it takes to face this discomfort
  6. Unplug your energy from the sensation—switch into neutral observing of the sensations you are experiencing
  7. Gently but firmly continue to breathe, and notice that the feeling sensation begins to subside, like fog in sunlight.
  8. Repeat this process each time old, uncomfortable emotions arise, knowing that each time you follow these steps, the brain and nervous system pattern that holds it in place loses its power to control your life.
  9. Remind yourself that you are evolving, not fixing.  Stay gentle and compassionate with yourself.
  10. Get up and move–stretch, walk
  11. And if you need help, book a healing session or massage to move the energy.

So breathing into the emotion, changing the brain chemistry through the conscious breath, we rev up the inner knowing, focusing on the spark of light inside.  Through our focus, determination and breath, the light grows and grows and expands until it pushes through the dense layer of fear, doubt and darkness. And suddenly we break through to the light of cruising altitude.

You are now free to move about the cabin.

Blessings, Beloveds

For more information or to book a session:

Meredith Davis


Skype name:  meredithdavis11



Breathing Bliss

This is a segment of some writing that came through a couple of mornings ago, as i sat with my morning cup, enjoying the still cool early hours, tuning in to Divine Presence.  Notice that it contains a helpful exercise for relaxing the mind.  It actually feels very nice, so I recommend it highly!
“Beloved, just sit and enjoy the music, the birds, the stillness.  You were wondering what questions or issues to bring up with us during this time of dialogue.  And in that moment when you stopped and heard the soft music, it stirred your heart and we connected and became one in complete love, acceptance and being completely comfortable just being present to each other.  Feel this.  Feel it deeply.  For while it simply feels ‘good’, it is in truth the most powerful force in the universe.  
Remember—Nothing can withstand the power of a healed heart.  And this feeling, this sensation of complete letting down, simply being, feeling the fullness of your heart, the complete calm—that, Beloved, is true healing.  You are indeed feeling the sublime sensation of oneness with ‘us’, with yourself, all that you are,  All That Is.  
Relax even more deeply into this now.  Feel the subtle tensions, which were below the surface of your awareness.  And let them go.  Speak peace to your body, your mind.  And let it reverberate throughout the universes, clearing the energetic grid of you and all your connections through all space, time, universes and dimensions.  
Bringing all into unity and harmony and greater freedom, peace and openness. 
For as you are able to relax into this sensation, you open yourself indeed to greater possibility than you, in your small frame of reference , can imagine.  And this, dear one, is where the great cosmic adventure of your soul lies.  Not in the known, the safe, but in the thrill of surrender.  
What if you let go beyond your ability to let go?  As you continue to say yes, and continue stopping your efforts to move forward, all opens to you.  So the surrender is very deep now.  Sinking deeper into yourself.  Do you see how the mind wants to challenge that?  Do you feel how your brain wants to hold on? 
 You have begin a practice with your clients of having them visualize their brains sinking down into the bottom of their skulls, coming ‘unglued’ from the top of their skulls.  And you see how this produces a physical sensation of relaxation.  This is the brain surrendering.  And now feel that sensation continue down the brain stem all the way down to the tailbone.  And now feel as it spreads effortlessly throughout your entire body, as all the nerves flood with fresh energy and vitality—information and light. 
And so, as you allow your brain to surrender in this way, your very physical being becomes an antenna for the highest vibrations of light and information from ever higher sources, and frequencies. So the efficiency of this vehicle of your human structure changes—in truth, and on a very ‘real’ cellular level.  
You have heard that humans are shifting from a carbon based DNA structure to crystalline based.  As cellular matter compresses through heat, pressure and time, organic matter becomes carbon, and with further compression, heat, and time becomes diamonds.  And so it is with you as humans.  Those of you who have been doing your inner work of noticing, clearing, releasing, surrendering and opening, are transforming your very physicality into something unheard of in your recorded history, especially on the scale in which it is happening now. ”
I encourage you to take this message with you throughout the day and practice relaxing your brain, feel the sensation of Divine Light flowing throughout your body, transforming cells, balancing body chemistry, clearing your DNA, healing, renewing and refreshing you!  Enjoy!

Noticing what I Notice–

We are surrounded all the time by these research campaigns looking for a cure for this disease or that.  Well, good scientific method says,  you make your hypothesis and look for something that supports it.  Along the way, unexpected results show up, called anomalies.  They throw the anomalies out because they don’t support the hypothesis.  Cutting edge discoverers pay attention to the anomalies because there is information and possibility there.  The universe saying ‘Look over here’ ??

Our lives are like that.  We set out with an agenda for something–a relationship, a project, our day.  When it doesn’t turn out exactly how we have expected, the tendency is to think it was a failure or wrong somehow.

What if we noticed the anomalies along the way–the little nudges from Spirit saying ‘look over here’, ‘look at it this way’.  Letting go of our grip on how we think something should show up.  All kinds of magic can happen and usually does.

Let’s all do an experiment of our own today:  let go of our hypothesis of how things SHOULD be, and see what amazing unexpected things show up.  And I want to hear about them!

Love and blessings, Beloveds.

New Original Painting

This is a painting I completed a few months ago, and is part of my Masters Degree project in Shamanic Intuitional Practices which I received from Venus Rising University.  I’ve included the writing piece I did about this painting, the process of creating it, and what I observed through the process.
The painting, entitled Shaman’s Cave, is a gift to my dear friend and mentor, Linda Star Wolf, in gratitude for her teaching, support and friendship.
This painting is an example of taking a less than satisfactory work from its dark place in the back of the closet and looking at it with new eyes, fresh energy and a fresh perspective, and then finding that the painting takes off in its own direction.  I originally relegated it to the “maybe I’ll take this up later” pile because of dull colors and an awkward composition.  I brought it out again recently, brightened up the palette and added some additional elements to the design in an effort to redeem it. 

I usually have difficulty naming my paintings.  I just paint them, and only name them if they are being shown, and something needs to be on the card.  This one was different.  I saw from the beginning it was a shaman’s cave.  The interior of the cave was in darkness—kind of a black hole in the center of the picture, which artistically wasn’t desirable.  As I worked the texture and the color, standing back to look at the effect, I noticed two eyes emerging, in perfect placement. 

The “walls” of the cave became her headdress; she became a shaman goddess.  The darkness in the depths of the cave became light.  Color, form and features appeared.  And, as so often happens, she became me.  The cave is within me.  The inner shaman emerged. The painting took form in its own time, as the artist was ready to be the instrument of its emergence into form.  In the same way our own inner shaman appears out of the dullness and awkwardness into the fullness of light and beauty that is its destiny.  

The Spiral Journey-Once More Around

Just before the arrival of 2012 I moved into a sweet little house in Sedona. It was the completion of a cycle that had begun more than a year before, when I had moved out of my first home in Sedona.  It was an unbelievable journey that included a bout with breast cancer, camping out with friends in guest rooms and on sofas—even living in a camping trailer for a while. 

This little adventure took me from the Smoky Mountains of North Carolina, to the beaches of Kauai and included completing the training to become an ordained Shamanic Minister, certified Shamanic Breathwork Facilitator, earning an MA in Shamanic Intuitional Practices and a PhD in Shamanic Psychospiritual Studies. It also took me to depths and heights of myself I didn’t know existed.

Finally I ended up where I began—back in my beloved red rocks of Sedona. Where I began, but not—meaning I’m not the same. Life is a spiral, not a straight line. So, as I took that year-plus turn around this spiral of life, I arrived back at the same spot, but from a higher perspective, wiser yet humbler, stripped of much I thought was essential, freer, more open, lighter, and a lot more courageous.

I’m far from the only one experiencing bizarre life rearrangements. However, I will say, that as a good Scorpio and 4 on the Enneagram, I’m pretty much wired to take things to extremes and be a bit of a drama queen.

But seriously, at every turn I see and hear about lives in upheaval. Aspects of life we have so taken for granted are shifting, being lost, shaken up, disappearing. We are being challenged to our very cores to step into these upheavals, to let go of so much that is familiar, and recognize and trust that in the letting go, we are being ushered into places of greater freedom and limitlessness. All those parts of our lives we thought we couldn’t live without—when we dare to let go, we find we can expand into something more—more free, more flexible, more courageous.

It’s a lot like the story of Moses and the children of Israel when they were being prompted (nudged by the hand of God) by decidedly uncomfortable circumstances in Egypt to launch out into the unknown of a “promised land.” We so often hold on to situations, circumstances and relationships that are less than ideal, but are comfortable because of their familiarity, when our souls have something more for us.

I’m learning a lot about the brain these days, and there is a definite physiological component to staying with the familiar, even when it is uncomfortable. We become addicted to the familiar, to the particular cocktail of neurotransmitters that releases in our brains around patterns of behavior, circumstances and relationships, even when those patterns no longer serve our highest good, our growth and evolution.

So all of that—both the spiritual and the scientific- is what I fall back on when my own circumstances are shaken, when life takes a turn that is decidedly not on my wish list. I’m grateful for the teachers who have shown me the tools that allow me to see the good, to breathe, to surrender and to trust. And I can now say I am grateful for the circumstances that have allowed me to move from an intellectual understanding to a gut level, life on the line, experiential knowing.

One such teacher phoned me recently, inquiring about my journey of healing breast cancer. The dreaded C-word had struck in her close family, and she needed to know what I did, how I handled it, the healers I’d worked with and, how I was now—was it all still working for me. She is someone whose wisdom, training and teaching have inspired and informed me personally, and in my own writing and teaching.  In fact, it was much of her teaching that enabled me to handle the cancer the way I did.  So no matter who we are, how much we know, we are all taking our turn in going deeper into release, trust, surrender and growth. I was grateful that my experience could serve.

There is another Old Testament story I remember and refer to a lot: during one of the battles, Moses was instructed by the Lord that the Israelites would prevail  so long as he held his staff up over his head. Of course, Moses’ arms grew weary, and each time he wavered and his arms started to droop, the battle would swing toward the enemy. The story is that his sister Miriam and brother Aaron stood on either side of him, and helped him hold up his arms.

They could not take over his job for him; he had to do his work. But they could stand with him and support him as he did what he was called to do.

So it is with us. As our family members and friends step into their own unique life experiences of learning, surrender, growth and transformation, we stand with them, lending strength and compassion as they in turn do their divine work.

One more OT reference comes to mind. When I began my own spiritual journey, I took with me a verse from Jeremiah: I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans for good and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope. I’ve held on to that. So far, so good. As I sit typing this in my lovely office, surrounded once again by beloved belongings, in the cozy tranquility of my new home, healthy, happy, freer and oh so grateful, all I can say is Thank You—to the Divine, and to all who stood with me as I did the work of this last year and made one more turn around the spiral of life.

What’s a Good Catholic Girl like You Doing in a Place like This?

Last week I was ordained a Shamanic Minister. When I told my mother she said, “Wow, from Catholic to Shaman, that’s really something.” Yes, it is something. And while I don’t pretend to come close to the title of Shaman, part of this path is awakening the “inner shaman”—not really so different from the Holy Spirit, or the kingdom of heaven Jesus spoke of. And it’s about helping others awaken to their own inner shaman/healer/counselor/teacher.

Part of the ordination ceremony was to write a Statement of Intent for my ministry. I’d like to share an excerpt with you. It’s a bit longer than usual, but hopefully you’ll read it to the end.

On a much earlier segment of this life path, I was a charismatic Christian. A group of like-hearted seekers, perennially suspect by ministers and church elders, we diligently studied the Bible and applied it to our own lives. When Jesus said “Greater things than these will you do, for I go to the Father”, we took it literally. We simply did what the Bible said: laid hands on the sick, cast out demons, saw miracles happen in answer to our prayers of faith. We told mountains to move, and they did. When I became disillusioned with the form of Christianity practiced in churches, I walked away from all of it. I had not yet found the Divine outside that form. When I left the church, and much of my spiritual practice, I did so deliberately. I told God: I want the truth of You. I am sick of following this path or that path, only to be disappointed in what I find there. If you are real, if any of this is true, show me.

I took two verses from the Amplified Bible with me. One, from Jeremiah—“ If you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you.” And the other from Hebrews, talking about the 40 year wandering in the wilderness: Because they did not have an “experimental faith”. So, I challenged God. I had an experimental faith. And for ten years I wandered in the dark. When I moved to Arizona, I had nearly destroyed my back, was on 2 antidepressants, several anti-inflammatory meds, and morphine for pain. I wandered into a Tai-Chi center, discovered energy, meditation, and God. I bumped into God while stumbling around in pain and darkness.

I’ve been on a superhighway of learning and transformation since that day. What I learned in the early bible study days has come around full circle in a much deeper and fuller way. And I’ve seen and made my own this Golden Thread of Truth that runs through all the great spiritual teachings

All that is to say, that this ordination, is a culmination of the journey. Now, to take all the “stuff” I’ve collected along the way, and with the blessing of my teachers, and my community, alchemically transmute it to healers gold.

My conviction is that we are evolving into a new kind of human –from Homo Sapiens to Homo Spiritus, to borrow a phrase from David Hawkins. As we evolve, we change the species, the planet, the cosmos. Just by doing our own work, just by tending to our own evolution. It is also my understanding and conviction that our evolution into the Oneness of our Divine Source, of necessity includes all of us—all the bits we’d rather leave behind—the ugly, the shameful, the hurtful, the uncomfortable, the wounded; past selves, aspects of us that exist on multiple dimensions simultaneously, our future selves. We, all the parts of me, become One, and One with All That is.

Through the work I’ve done with the Venus Rising Association for Transformation, as well as a lifetime of inner work, I’ve reclaimed much of that lost and abandoned soul territory. And while I’m far from finished, there is in my being immeasurably more peace and wholeness now than ever before. And it is for this that the world is crying. And so it is to this that I am called to speak, teach and most importantly, to live.

Thanks to divine grace, and so many teachers along the way, I’ve stepped into much more of who and what I really am, and, to a much greater degree, out of a limited, fearful, self-sabotaging life picture. As I step more fully into my own healing, and into the experiential knowledge of myself as a limitless spirit being, I am being recognized and sought out by others as a teacher, mentor, healer and guide. This ordination provides a framework and a platform from which I can better fill these callings, and step into an even greater expression of the package known in this lifetime as Meredith Star Raven Davis.

Stepping Through Portals

As I write this, I’m in Portales New Mexico, the morning after John and I taught a weekend workshop to Counseling grad students and therapists at Eastern New Mexico University.  It was part of the summer school program there, and definitely out of the box for some in the group.  The course was titled The Journey Inward and during it we introduced them to Shamanic Breathwork and taught about the shaman as wounded healer.

As you can imagine, there was a fair amount of skepticism about what the weekend would bring, but to their credit, everyone showed up and more importantly, came back the second day.  Their professor was the one who brought us in to present this decidedly edgy material, and she was our biggest fan—engaging fully in her own process, which gave students permission to do the same. 

Doors were definitely opened, paradigms shifted and much inner healing and release took place in that room over those two days.  What a privilege—and what fabulous “work”!  Love doing this! It was not lost on us that the name of the town, Portales, means doors in Spanish, or as it became for these souls, a portal into another dimension of themselves.  Beautiful to be a part of.

So, to catch up a bit :  I haven’t blogged in  a long time. Couldn’t.  Didn’t know how to talk about it.   About a week before I wrote the last blog, which was pretty much a breezy recap of a delightful summer in Sedona, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Me, health nut, fitness nut, spiritual nut.  I had thought, wow, I’ll share the journey, all the insights, the highs, the lows.  (Lots of drama of course)  Truth is, I didn’t know where to begin.  I hated talking about it in a way, as I felt that would glorify it, give it energy.  But in a way not talking about it gave it energy too.  Plus, dealing with it took a lot of time and energy. 

Obviously, from my opening report, I feel fine now, in fact, better than fine, so you don’t need to race to the end to find out.

I’d always said if I got cancer, I would never do the cut, burn, poison route, which is all the medical community has to offer.  But I tell you, when you sit in a doctor’s office and they tell you that you have to do this or else, it gives you pause.  I chose the natural route and began working with a naturopathic oncologist—lots and lots of supplements, Vitamin C IVs—all of which amounted to around a thousand dollars a month.  I had surgery too—right before Christmas.  The tumor was supposed to have been about 2.5 cm and it didn’t appear that any lymph nodes were involved.  So it looked easy—take it out, take the supplements and call it good.  Except the tumor was nearly 6cm– they didn’t get it all even after a second surgery a week later–and 11 lymph nodes were involved.   I was told to begin chemo immediately, or face having it in bones, liver and lung in a few months.  Even the naturopath concurred.  I felt betrayed.

I know that all matter is energy, and that everything that shows up in our material world is a manifestation of an underlying energy.  So treating this from the physical, as if it were separate from soul and spirit was foreign to me.  Everything I’ve studied and practiced spiritually and energetically for the last number of years screamed at me that this path of treatment was wrong for me, that I couldn’t do it.  And yet, while I had an intellectual grasp, I wasn’t able to bridge the gap and step into really KNOWING in the depth of my gut that I could heal energetically.  And I knew enough to realize that if there was any doubt in me, I needed to go ahead and have treatment along with the energy work. 

I felt somehow that I needed to surrender to the chemo—it was supposedly the mildest, and didn’t cause hair loss.  I felt that if I didn’t have the treatment at this point, I’d be in some kind of spiritual denial lala land.  I had the thought that I might be claiming a healing where I was actually covering up my fear of  having the chemo.

So, I had the first chemo treatment.  Nasty business, I have to tell you.  They give you so much stuff, shots to protect the immune system, shots for nausea, shots to counteract the shots.  My life was taken over by IVs and shots and supplements and blood tests. 

“God, is this really the plan?  Is this how it has to be?”  I felt myself being sucked into the vortex of fear of all the negative energy the C-word carries with it.  And I couldn’t pull myself out. During this time, I was working with a dear friend and energy healer, Angelica Joy, who helped me get to some place of peace with it all.  Another dear friend, Gerard, hung out, walked my dog, and made me laugh. 

When I went back to get the second treatment, they said, sorry, we can’t give it to you, your immune system is too trashed.  If you feel like you’re getting anything, go right to the emergency room because you have no defenses.  Really?  It was as though Spirit said—had enough?  Ready to claim the healing?  So I said thank you very much and walked out.  Haven’t been back.

I am working with an energy healer in San Diego—Dr. Hector Garcia.  He’s a miracle worker truly and his specialty is cancer.  He’s a modern day shaman in a white lab coat.  He tracked the energetic source and cut it off.  Now I am resting in my healing, taking supplements to detox the body and getting on with life. 

This was a powerful call to put into action the spiritual principles and energy work I’d been studying.  It was a wake up call to put my life on the line with these things, and decide whether these principles are true or not.  I know many who have successfully used Western medicine to treat themselves.  That is their path.  Many have found deep spiritual significance in their lives as a result.  My path was different. 

I’m back living in Sedona now—just got here a couple of weeks ago.  I am glad to be settling in among my beloved Red Rocks again.   What a whirlwind of learning and growth!  It has prepared me for this next phase of life, which began this weekend. It was a portal for us too.

Sedona Summer Recap and Now–Moving On!

Dear Friends,
I haven’t posted a new blog in over three months.  So much was happening and it was all so fun that I either didn’t take the time to stop and write, or just didn’t know which of all the amazing occurrences to pick out to share.  Both I think.

Summer in Sedona is delightful:  hiking in the magical red rocks, swimming and picnics at the swimming hole on Oak Creek. My little dog Cheney is a champ–runs all over the trails and loves to swim in the creek. John and I and Cheney took John’s airstream down to Rocky Point, Mexico for a few days where we enjoyed swimming in the Sea of Cortez, yes, even Cheney swam a bit, but mostly eating fresh seafood, drinking beer and margaritas and smoking Cuban cigars.  It was a profoundly spiritual experience.  Really! Especially having fish tacos and beer for breakfast in an outdoor restaurant overlooking the sea!

I also had the wonderful privilege of co-facilitating the first installment of Earth School for Souls.  The series of classes was a great success, with some of the participants telling us it was the most powerful thing they’d ever done.  The experience of opening the way for others to heal and awaken was both humbling and exhilarating beyond description.  I loved doing it!

In the middle of August I hosted a wedding reception at my home for my dear friends, Pam and Jim.  I turned the house over to the team of volunteers who removed all the furniture from the great room and proceeded to turn it into a party venue, complete with dance floor and sound system!  The preparations were a powerful example of people coming together egolessly to serve friends, working, playing, laughing and putting on a terrific event. 

Meanwhile, my landlady announced that she was raising my rent in January, so I started thinking about what I would do.  At the same time, I was receiving lots of emails from my old art school in Scottsdale (Brio Fine Arts, I highly recommend them) announcing some very interesting classes for the fall and winter.  So, after many agonizing days and nights of indecision, I decided to move out of the house and spend the winter back down in the Valley taking art classes. Besides, I love the warm winters down there.  So, I packed everything up, put it in storage and headed down the hill.

I am doing an experiment in letting go.  Letting go of having my own home, not exactly sure of what comes next–all very interesting experiences.  I should say, however, that where I’ve landed for the next few months is pretty wonderful.  My good friends, Steve and Karen, suggested that I stay with them, as they would be away much of the fall months.  So, I’m living in a lovely, large home on a golf course, complete with a housekeeper twice a month!  Maybe there is something to this letting go business!

Art is coming along too.  I had felt pretty stuck and uncreative, and all it took was a few classes to revive the spark and get me unstuck.  I’ve completed several paintings I’d started in Sedona, but knew there was something off about them.  I can now, for the first time,  say I love my work!

This experiment is calling forth all the tools in my spiritual toolbox.  I’m back in the Valley of the Sun, where I lived for 12 years, but I’m not the same person who lived there then.  It is a magical time; I feel more at home in my skin, more at peace with life,  and happier that I could ever have imagined possible.  I catch glimpses at unexpected times of the flow of Divine Creation in ordinary life happening all around me.  I am able in these moments to see myself as a cell in the great body of the Divine expressing itself in so many different ways as this thing we know as Life.  It is a great joy and blessing to see  and feel this, to take a deep breath and jump into it with both feet and let the flow of it take you to greater adventures.

Speaking of which, I have recently embarked on a new adventure which I will be writing about in the weeks to come.   Yes, weeks, not months this time.  Blessings everyone!

Ain’t it Amazin’, Gracie!

I recently read a book that had a huge impact on me.  I picked it up at the library “by mistake”.  Ha! I live I Sedona, I know better than mistakes!! I got home, looked at it, wondered what it was, and thought I’d read it anyhow.  Funny how Spirit puts things in our paths when we’re open and allowing. 

The book is an ostensibly simple story about a woman’s life, told through the perspective of how her soul orchestrated a life contract so it could learn and experience certain things.  The story showed how when we incarnate, we forget there is a plan and then wonder why on earth we’re doing the things we’re doing, and what the point of it all is. So, we judge and condemn ourselves and others, blame everyone for our pain, make what we consider to be huge stupid mistakes, ad nauseam. You know the feeling?

So, when I looked at my life from this higher perspective – and really this story could be about any of us—I got such a different view.  So much self-judgment, fear and doubt about this journey I call my life simply disappeared, leaving nothing but love and compassion behind.  I became able to look at the people around me differently too, seeing them as souls on a journey to learn, grow and experience.  I have become free of the compulsion to judge their paths, personalities, and choices and can  simply honor and bless them — and myself too.  I see how courageous we all are to have embarked on these journeys we call life and bless all of it.  Wow, what a liberating shift this has been! 

I felt a strong desire to share my experience by leading a study group.  After my friend John read the book and had a similar experience, we decided it would be fun to co-facilitate it.  We submitted a proposal to our minister here at Unity of Sedona and were approved to offer the workshop, which we’re calling Earth School for Souls, at the church.  This is new for me.  I’ve worked with some groups in the past, but this is different.  I’m so glad to be sharing the experience with John, as we each bring different skills and perspectives to the group. 

Our dear minister, Mark Pope,  reminds us to simply allow Spirit to use us as we are, to surrender to being a channel for grace in whatever way it wants to come through us.  So, last Sunday we announced the workshop at church and were met with a great deal of enthusiasm.

As divine timing would have it, this past weekend I also participated with 24 other dear friends in what was originally termed Chaplain Training.  It was a deeply transformational weekend, beginning with a heart opening ceremony in which all of us experienced opening to divine energy more deeply than ever before.  It also included a death ritual, in which we imagined that we only had two more hours to live.  We surrendered attachments to people, places, things, attitudes and judgments.  We wrote a last will and testament.  And we wrote last words to loved ones, and also to those we have less than loved.  We surrendered our plans, our wills, our dreams.  Then we burned it all. 

I realized as I gave all that away, that none of it was real or important except the love I had given and received along the way from family and friends.  It may be that I never felt the love for all of them as strongly as I did in that ceremony.  So, I will share what I wrote with them so they don’t have to wait till I’m gone from this body to know it.

I truly felt as though I had completed my old life lessons.  I felt I had done well with this life and could return to heaven having completed my curriculum.  That felt good.

So on Saturday, we all began new lives.  We spent the day sharing deeply with each other and the love, compassion and rejoicing were astounding to behold.  The depth of oneness among us continues.  I’m happy and excited to be embarking on this path now, so free, so clear, so opened, so full of love and light.  All of us are forever transformed.

I have spent the last couple of years pretty quietly, doing a lot of inner healing, coming to a lot of realizations.  It is obvious now that this year is about me showing up, stepping up, and allowing whatever gifts, talents and abilities I have to be seen and shared.  I wrote about that last time, and how my big earrings remind me that I’ve outgrown the phase of my life where I played small and safe.  How wonderful it is that as the activity of grace has so prepared me for this time, and now I’m ready to say yes, I will serve.  I will speak, share, show up because I’ve been so filled with light and grace that it is just overflowing.  And it feels so good. 

The book, by the way is A Hit of Heaven  by Andrea Avari, PhD.  It is available on or through the author’s website,    And for those of you in the Sedona area, the study group is being held at Unity of Sedona in the sanctuary, on Monday evenings, beginning August 2, at 6:30pm.  The suggested love offering is $10 per class or $50 for the series of 6.  The book is required, and we have them available for $10.  Pre-registration is requested but not required.  Email me at if you want more info.

My friend John the eloquent writer and poet has posted a new blog and I highly recommend that you check it out at